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Poem: Clearer Vision

Offline Omega

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Poem: Clearer Vision
« on: November 02, 2009, 09:44:13 PM »
Clearer Vision
Philosophical

I paint meaningful mental imagery that must be delineated.
To overcome my moronic obstacles they must be obliterated.

This style of writing induces acceleration of mental stimulation.
My ideas don’t spark; they kindle into an incandescent inspiration.

They doubt me, but fail in trying to understand me.
My inner light illuminates bright, but is blinding to a certain degree.

People seem so scared of reality.
Living a treacherous life forces you to realize your mortality.
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Offline Flashwerewolf

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Re: Clearer Vision
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2009, 09:44:29 PM »
*replies*

[kata]

Offline Omega

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2009, 09:59:23 PM »
*is honored by Flash's response* Thank you, gentle spiderwolf.  [asia]
Open for art commissions! Check out my portfolio for contact info and take a look at my art gallery. Thank you. :)

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Portfolio: http://overstandbasics.tumblr.com/post/149212339364/overstandbasicsportfolio

Offline Adelaide

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2009, 10:30:17 PM »
I think you meant m0rality in the last stanza
Mortality is like.. either the quality of being human or the rate at which death occurs. Such as the mortality rate of baby painted turtles is 99%, meaning only 1% of them survive infancy.
Also "is blinding is a certain degree." i believe you meant to say: "is blinding to a certain degree"


Thats all i see wrong with it, for the most part its an incredible poem! Keep up the good work ;D
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Offline Flashwerewolf

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2009, 03:38:40 AM »
I see how Mortality fits, people often think they are invincible and godlike

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Offline kinjo

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2009, 11:13:45 AM »
poems do not always have to rhyme   [ghey]
nice poem


Offline Omega

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2009, 06:06:35 PM »
I see how Mortality fits, people often think they are invincible and godlike

Yay! You got it right, that's what I was trying to convey! :D
Thanks for the positive criticism! ;>

And I like poems that rhyme. Ones that don't seem weird and random. But, I digress.  [yoshi]
Open for art commissions! Check out my portfolio for contact info and take a look at my art gallery. Thank you. :)

<<The Land of 4M!>>

Twitter: @overstandbasics
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Portfolio: http://overstandbasics.tumblr.com/post/149212339364/overstandbasicsportfolio

Offline Adelaide

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2009, 09:41:03 PM »
Thats insulting o.o
I write a lot of poetry and not all of it rhymes... I'll make a topic..
I am the creator of awesome points and therefore I have a never ending supply.
10 Luffle Points~!


-------------------------------------------
********(¨`·.·´¨).I.(¨`·.·´¨)* *********
****(`·.·´`·. ¸.·;Love`·.¸.·´`·.·´)*****
*****`·.¸.·´*ZombieHugs*`·¸.´******
*******`·.¸(¨`· Forever·´¨)..·´********
**************`·.¸.·´********* ******
[refle]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_22_05_09_12_36_39.png[/refle]

[img]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_27_08_09_1_54_05.

Offline Flashwerewolf

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2009, 11:02:19 PM »
*huggles Addy*
Both of your guys' poems are good!

[kata]

Offline Adelaide

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2009, 11:16:53 PM »
why thank yew =3
I am the creator of awesome points and therefore I have a never ending supply.
10 Luffle Points~!


-------------------------------------------
********(¨`·.·´¨).I.(¨`·.·´¨)* *********
****(`·.·´`·. ¸.·;Love`·.¸.·´`·.·´)*****
*****`·.¸.·´*ZombieHugs*`·¸.´******
*******`·.¸(¨`· Forever·´¨)..·´********
**************`·.¸.·´********* ******
[refle]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_22_05_09_12_36_39.png[/refle]

[img]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_27_08_09_1_54_05.

Offline Omega

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2009, 03:28:41 PM »
That is just my personal opinion towards poetry.
Open for art commissions! Check out my portfolio for contact info and take a look at my art gallery. Thank you. :)

<<The Land of 4M!>>

Twitter: @overstandbasics
Art Gallery: skyeomega.deviantart.com
Portfolio: http://overstandbasics.tumblr.com/post/149212339364/overstandbasicsportfolio

Offline Adelaide

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Re: Poem: Clearer Vision
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2009, 12:09:23 AM »
It could probably change, if you took some time to expand your horizons a little, maybe read a few different poems, see what more is out there..
I am the creator of awesome points and therefore I have a never ending supply.
10 Luffle Points~!


-------------------------------------------
********(¨`·.·´¨).I.(¨`·.·´¨)* *********
****(`·.·´`·. ¸.·;Love`·.¸.·´`·.·´)*****
*****`·.¸.·´*ZombieHugs*`·¸.´******
*******`·.¸(¨`· Forever·´¨)..·´********
**************`·.¸.·´********* ******
[refle]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_22_05_09_12_36_39.png[/refle]

[img]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_27_08_09_1_54_05.