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Discussion Zone: => Show Your Stuff! => Topic started by: Omega on December 10, 2009, 08:33:27 PM


Title: Personal Vendetta
Post by: Omega on December 10, 2009, 08:33:27 PM
Personal Vendetta (http://skyeomega.deviantart.com/art/Personal-Vendetta-146368333)
Philosophical

My poetic precision hits you rapidly like the strikes from ten serpent bites.
The burning flames of personal motivation ignites.

Abandoning my dignity in the face of calamity is disgraceful.
My thoughts and movement would become heavy, not graceful.

It's astonishing to think how I once doubted myself.
Now, I'm becoming content with oneself.

And I thank God for all of my personal foes.
If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't even stay on my toes.
Title: Re: Personal Vendetta
Post by: Adelaide on December 18, 2009, 02:11:25 PM
This is good but..
"Abandoning my dignity in the face of calamity is disgraceful.
My thoughts and movement would become heavy, not graceful."

Its like you are rhyming the same word with itself, knocks the flow off slightly..