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Winters Heart

Offline Nevir

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Winters Heart
« on: August 06, 2009, 08:46:33 PM »
Hopefully it is not too presumptuous of me to create a new account and right off the bat want to start a new Roleplay. I looked a little and didn't see any prohibition against it. I'll admit I've never done any message board RP but I have always wanted to DM some AD&D and in fact have read 2 different volumes of the AD&D DM guides and have a strong urge to lead a story. Hopefully some of you who read this are willing to cope with any failings I have and let me do what I do best learn to swim by jumping in face first.

I am posting this now without any real setting or background just to see what if any feedback if any I get as I take a while to type it all out. All I'll put for now is it takes place in a D&D or Tolkien ish world and the starting localle will be a small castle town named Winters Heart set in a warm artifically created glade in the middle of a frozen tundra/glacier. The character bio laid out by Red would be as he said a preferd format. Since as I see it from here this adventure will involve some character improvement throughout please limit your level of power, influnece, money and equipment to something around the level of a castle guard at MAX. If you are a world renowned sorcerer with a spell that can obliterate an entire town and another that summons gold where are we gonna go from there? As for races and inate abilities I am flexable but if you make a new race give me some idea of what the culture is like unless you want to be a one of a kind in the world.

OK here's hoping for the best and even if yer not down to play feedback is appreciated.


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Offline Red

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2009, 08:56:13 PM »
It's perfectly alright for you to create an RP right away. Reading this I get the impression you have experience in many of aspects of roleplaying, you will be able to find many key aspects that are similar while roleplaying on a message board aka a forum.

You may edit your character bio/skeleton however you wish while creating your roleplay, it's not a big deal.

As for the setting and conditions you laid out, they are fairly reasonable and understandable. You had no need to make a proxy post such as this, you have permission to create your roleplay.

P.S.

How about introduce yourself in the Beginner Talk section?

Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2009, 10:58:31 PM »
Thanks for the reply Red I wasn't trying to say I thought that your character skeleton was mandatory just that I thought it'd be best if people stuck to it for my sake lol. I wasn't planning on making this a proxy post I was thinking I'd have a background to post within an hour or two and just play in this thread but then... Life...

Anyways I'd be glad to introduce myself. I'll make a post in the Beginner talk ASAP
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Offline Red

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2009, 11:14:34 PM »
Also, I would suggest making a new topic for your Roleplay to keep things neat. Thanks. I'll deal with this topic later.

Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2009, 12:16:23 AM »
Alright cool. You're the Mod.  [asia]
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Offline Flashwerewolf

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2009, 02:40:10 AM »
[welcome] Nevir!

Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2009, 03:15:11 AM »
Sorry for my failure to post a setting/background as I'd boasted I would... My little sister came home from college for the weekend and wanted attention from me... Not cause she actually wanted MY attention so much as she was bored and our lil sis was already busy with a friend lol. SO... Better luck to me tomorrow..
 [usuck]
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Offline Flashwerewolf

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2009, 03:20:12 AM »
no worries, hey the name of this caught my eye because its the name of book 9 of the Wheel of Time series. are you familiar with Robert Jordan?

Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2009, 03:38:09 AM »
My mom is a big Jordan fan... But actually I had NO clue that it was a book by him I ripped it off of The Heart of Winter. Which is the expansion to Icewind Dale. To anyone whom is playing on this bored and has not played that and the other Black Isle games.... DO it you'll not regret it. But I would recommend playing them in order as each game improved significantly enough to make the previous titles less enjoyable after playing it's successors.
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Offline Adelaide

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2009, 07:05:50 AM »
Oh! Look at that you can already make friends and relate to others! =P

http://www.4m4life.com/Forum/index.php?board=7.0

That is the board a lot of the gamers use to discuss games they like, games they hate, games they like to play with each other, and basically anything game-related. =P Maybe you could post a little something up to see who else is familiar with the game, because I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.
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Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2009, 11:12:19 AM »
Haha thanks for the heads up maybe I'll check it out at some time but as for now I'm a little bored with video games.... If i weren't I wouldn't be here lol.
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Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2009, 12:47:41 PM »
Man I was just thinking I hope all us here have a decent vocabulary.... It's not that I try to do it but as I get in the zone writing back story I find myself using a lot of words that would be at home on a vocabulary test
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Offline Adelaide

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2009, 01:24:00 PM »
=O
We all have decent vocabularies; I noticed your use of more advanced words previously, it's fine. I tend to do that too, when I'm really into what I am writing or very serious about it.

I hate to be the one that points it out, but what you just did is referred to as a "double post" and typical it's an illegal move on teh 4M and you get lots of these:
 [double] from other members. If you forgot to mention something and someone didn't reply yet, you can edit the previous post with the little "modify" button in the corner of it, and add whatever you need right in there. Try not to double post if it can be prevented! =]
Sorry =[
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Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2009, 01:33:15 PM »
NP thx.... Guess my forum newb-ness is showing. Hontou ni, gomen ne! (I'm really sorry)  [asia]
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Offline Adelaide

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2009, 01:38:29 PM »
It's okay; 4M has seen far worse, and far less polite.
Newbness is only to be expected, that is why we correct it as soon as possible =P
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Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2009, 01:05:30 AM »
Bah I suck.... I was just gonna write a quick page or 2 back story but the ideas kept fleshing out in my mind and now i have 3 1/2 pages and I'm not really sure I'm any closer to finished with it than I was when I had a single paragraph.

----------------

Edit:
Well I'm not having writers block per se so much as ideas are racing about in my skull so fast I can't seem to write. So I thought it might be interesting and maybe even useful to get some feedback on what I've written so far.



Oldest legend tells of a time when men and their deities had a much greater degree of contact than any time within true memory. A time when many were the gods that walked among men spreading thier heavenly blessing. And many were the devils that enslaved, slaughtered or twisted men to thier own mad ends. Most prominent among the magnanimous and charitable Ancients was the great Thoren and chiefest of the petty and crewel was Drak'Nar whom most now refer to as The Reaper of Souls as his name is a curse to utter aloud.

While it is true that The Ancients possessed power beyond the comprehension of the races of Aramir their hearts it seems were much the same so it was that when Thoren learned of Drak'Nar and his followers depravity and cruelty against the races of man that he had considered under his protection he was incensed and made haste to the lands over which Drak'Nar had made himself despot. To spite the incredible distance between their kingdoms it was mere hours walk for Thoren as when a god wishes it they can reach the horizon in a single step. Upon arrival he made no concessions to courtesy and simply took the straightest path to Drak'Nar's throne room tearing through the battlemented outer walls and then the gilded and elaborately decorated inner walls of the grand castle like so much flimsy gauze. He stood before Drak'Nar and berated him for his evils and defied him to attempt to defend his actions. Much as a village bully caught tormenting a larger child's smaller siblings he knew he could not justify his acts to Thoren nor win the argument by force and so simply became sullen. Seeing what he took to be remorse of a younger deity who had simply put no thought to his actions wicked as they had been Thoren demanded as a penance that Drak'Nar use his power to create a blessing upon the people whom he had so wickedly used and then leave the world of men never to return taking all his ilk with him. Drak'Nar sensing no alternative acceded to the demand. Thoren, his anger cooling departed for his own demesnes vowing to return with his allies upon the next moon to see that his will had been done.

Unfortunately for both Ancients and men Drak'nar was the darkest hearted and most remorseless of what we now call devils. So it was that once the immediate threat to himself was gone his anger began to seethe. What right did Thoren have to demand anything of him simply because he had self-substantiated a few eons earlier than himself? Just because he held a little more sway among the other Ancients? It was absurd that he should chastised and even punished for his treatment of these mortal men that he had made his playthings. But what could be done? The fact was that Thoren was more powerful both personally and in his strength of allies he knew he could not defy him. Then inspiration struck.

The next morn all of Drak'Nar's allies were gathered at his partially demolished castle. He explained the events that had transpired the previous day. Then he put to them the question; the answer to which forever altered the course of both fate for both the Ancients and the races of men. The question was weather they would accept the judgment and punishment of the self righteous Ancients who presumed authority over them. The answer was swift and unanimous, they cursed all those who would look upon them with disdain yet even still knew they counted too few to overpower the majority who sought to banish them. However in this Drak'Nar's depraved mind had already envisioned a solution. He explained that in his experimenting and toying with mortals he had found that each had a small amount of power within themselves. A laughably small fragment compared to even the least of the Ancients however man had something that the Ancients lacked. The ability to reproduce so that through the endless ages only a few hundred Ancients had ever self-substantiated, man reproduced like the mice of the field and numbered across the face of Aramir in the hundreds of thousands. The assembled Ancients scoffed saying that a human army even in the thousands could never be anything more than a nuisance to a single Ancient let alone hundreds of them. Drak'Nar raised his hand for silence and with a gesture quenched the light of the lamps that had lit the room. He produced from an elaborate black sheath that had been braced in the corner of the room a crewel looking blade that glowed with the dimmest of red malevolence. He explained that while all assembled knew that no force other than another Ancients amassed power could harm them this blade had been produced using only the most casual of efforts on his part and in truth all it's true power had come from a mere hundred mortal souls. He then drew the blade lightly across his own hand and let those assembled see the blood flow for the briefest moments before the wound closed. Seeing the impressed look upon the staring faces he made his proposal. He asked them to imagine what could be accomplished with this weapon if it housed a thousand times more howling enraged souls. This is the purpose for which you are gathered he explained. He promised to teach the technique for tormenting a soul into madness and then extracting it, for the purpose of filling his weapon with unimaginable destructive power so that when the fools came to see that the exodus had been completed he might spill their blood and extinguish their lives in a way and on a scale that had never been seen thier timeless history! The assembled mad devils cheered this notion for truly at that moment devils they had become.

And so it was that the devils carried out the greatest slaughter and atrocity ever known on the face of Aramir all unbeknownst to Thoren and those we now call gods. And so it was that the moon completed it's cycle and the gods lead by Thoren traveled to the lands under the control of the devils which were now destitute of mortal life. When passing a human city of fair size and sensing no presence they began to investigate and quickly discovered the corpses of all the residents mostly still in their homes, faces frozen in various masks of rage and agony. After that they made even greater haste to Drak'Nar's stronghold only to find in the valley just before the castle that his allies were already anticipating their arrival.

It was clear that the devils had disobeyed the judgement placed upon them and had infact intensified thier crimes against the mortals and now they stood in masse oposed to the the forces of the gods. Combat was inevitable however the gods knew they had the advantage in both numbers and sheer power, they would cast these insolent ones into their richly deserved exile by force and if they did not concede then they would cast them into the abyss of death. In an instant the two lines had closed distance on one another and the force of the combat between them both physical and ethereal sundered the earth and stone of the landscape and shattered mighty trees into kindling. Suddenly Thoren heard a cry of such agony as he had never heard escape an Ancients lips even in death and turned to see one of his men pierced through the heart from behind by a sword. Never had he seen a weapon of the kind man used break the body of one of his breatheran and the image appauled him. Worse however was that as the blade was withdrawn he could see clearly that the blade was wreathed in bloody red lightning that crackled with rage through a dark miasma that reeked of despair. Worse still was that speared on the tip he could just make out the essence of the now dead god being consumed by the dark blade of hatered and death. In just a moment it was entirely engulfed and the vile energy of the blade lept up more violently. The swords master Drak'Nar threw his head back and howeled with evil laughter. In that moment it was clear to Thoren what had happened to the lands inhabitants and what the nature of the weapon was. It was a hellish prison for a number of mortal souls that he shuddered to contemplate and in thier rage at being murdered and sealed within the blade they consumed whatever living essence they touched. Another of the gods still agape at the atrocity he had just seen was cut down in an instant by Drak'Nar and his essence was absorbed. Several gods now coordinated thier assults against Drak'Nar hoping to stop this most vile menace but thier combined power could not harm, restrain or ultimately even defent thier lives against the onslaught of the devil and his dark weapon.

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Well if that's half as decent as it seems to me I suppose I'm not ashamed to post it. I know the paragraphs need reformatting... I always have sucked at that and I know it's absurdly long. Especially considering I've yet to even touch on the setting or the most relevant details to what makes the world what it is in the time that the adventure takes place.  Thanks for reading though and I appreciate your feedback.  [asia]
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Offline Adelaide

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2009, 12:16:25 AM »
Lol, that was pretty incredible writing. =P I think for those of us here, you were right for saying it was an absurd amount to read, maybe you should make a format:

RP Title:

Brief Explanation:

Setting:

Classes:

Other important details... And then a brief summary of the back story; i sort of plot synthesis, if you will, then follow that with the entire back story. Some one willingly read that entire thing, and if you barely touched on any more important details, it would help for things to be further broken down, so that you will get more participants.

Other than that, the idea so far seems pretty solid, the story seems like its becoming more like a book though. =] Good concept, paraphrasing might be a useful skill to apply however.
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Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2009, 06:39:50 PM »
LOL yea I hear what you're saying..... I was thinking the same thing but I started writing and couldn't stop myself I figured I'd have to break it down like you said  [burst] I haven't written anymore after I posted that part my will to write... Or do anything evaporated what a pain......
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Offline Adelaide

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2009, 07:18:57 PM »
=P Yar, I like reading, so I did read it all ^^
But I don't think too many will want to read so much before jumping into the story. ^^ I think you will be able to paraphrase it well, if you need help, I'm usually around and able to, or if you need someone to bounce some of your ideas off to.
Otherwise, I look forward to seeing more activity from you!
I am the creator of awesome points and therefore I have a never ending supply.
10 Luffle Points~!


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********(¨`·.·´¨).I.(¨`·.·´¨)* *********
****(`·.·´`·. ¸.·;Love`·.¸.·´`·.·´)*****
*****`·.¸.·´*ZombieHugs*`·¸.´******
*******`·.¸(¨`· Forever·´¨)..·´********
**************`·.¸.·´********* ******
[refle]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_22_05_09_12_36_39.png[/refle]

[img]http://4mchan.org/Forum/gallery/1_27_08_09_1_54_05.

Offline Nevir

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Re: Winters Heart
« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2009, 02:58:41 AM »
Cool I appreciate the offer. Hopefully I'll get motivated again soon. I always am like this about everything... Which is why I have so many neat toys and games etc around that I don't use.... Get excited buy it then bored.

I guess at this point it's good I didn't write a decent synopsis and get playing cause then I'd be obligated to do so when I'm not in the mood to right now ha.... ha.... I suck.
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