Discussion Zone: => Show Your Stuff! => Topic started by: Emmery on February 19, 2011, 11:16:20 AM
Title: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 19, 2011, 11:16:20 AM
Schizophrenic Tick-tock tick-tock Tick-tock tick-tock Shadows… It is me they mock. Snakes that slither on the floor, spiders crawl under the door. Why don’t you see what I see? Why can’t you see what they do to me? The burn me, poke, taunt, choke. Tick-tock tick-tock Tick-tock tick-tock The monsters of my dreams aren’t always what they seem. Behind that mask is a trusted face. It seems so darkly out of place. Tick-tock tick-tock Tick-tock tick-tock Stop it! That infernal clock! Tick-tock tick-tock Tick-tock tick-tock Tick-Crash! The clock is across the room, resounding with a bash. The clock still ticks, but does not tock does not talk. But it’s new, it’s a change; Who knew I could be so deranged? Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick I’ve got to get out of here. This place enhances my fears. Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick Tick-Tick
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on February 19, 2011, 06:55:13 PM
Actually it's really good; good rhyme pattern and flow, plus the narration isn't half bad, which in some poems is pretty questionable :Dc I leiked it thanks for sharing! ^__^
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 19, 2011, 08:11:51 PM
Insane I may be insane, but I still have a name. No matter how long I scream, or how deep the cuts bleed, the insanity stays inside me. The strange perplexities that make me, me. That little voice in my head, that tells me what is to be said. That dark little voice, it takes away my choice. The pills that set everything aglow, they disappeared, long ago. The protective parents, that are supposed to care, they vanished into thin air. So, I am left alone, with this voice, without a name, without a choice. I am insane, and trapped behind a one-way glass pane.
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 19, 2011, 08:41:43 PM
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: ChickanBone on February 19, 2011, 09:03:49 PM
I made a poem like this on my Dev Art it was called Time :D I like this very nice!
sadly I'm not that good with Grammar or wording.
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 19, 2011, 09:22:56 PM
A poem about split personality disorder: Mirrors “Stop copying me! You know who it has to be, the original! Me. No, no, no! Stop that! I just said-what? Speak louder; you first. C’mon, do your worst!” I throw a punch and our fists collide shattering of glass, you must have died. But, no. No, not at all. I look and see and see five of me. Now they laugh. Horribly. And they laugh. And they laugh Their laugh hurts my ears. I run, but I can still hear, the laughter of the insane, horribly near. Each mirror holds the same face, no matter the place.
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: ChickanBone on February 19, 2011, 09:48:16 PM
That's awesome! do you have anymore? :D
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 19, 2011, 10:10:29 PM
Ayuh: Perfect? No pain. No anger. No evil Nothing wicked. Nothing bad. Perfect spell for a perfect world. But what of good? What are the lines to be had? You make a mistake and have to leave? What of sin? A sin to breathe? Die or be gone. The lines constrict. The perfect world, of peace and the very worst world, of impossible terms. Make this world perfect.
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: ChickanBone on February 20, 2011, 03:44:21 AM
That's deep!
Lot of hate!
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 20, 2011, 07:14:08 AM
Hmmm... I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not. 6.9 Well, this one's a spin off on Freddy's song. Counting 1, 2 I’m coming for you 3, 4 You can’t lock your door 5, 6 There’s no easy fix 7, 8 Start to hallucinate 9, 10 You’ve gone insane
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 20, 2011, 09:00:58 AM
http://danteg12.deviantart.com/art/Kevin-Dunet-198139010?q=gallery%3Adanteg12%2F28767505&qo=0 http://danteg12.deviantart.com/art/Nikki-Turner-198138645?q=gallery%3Adanteg12%2F28767505&qo=1 http://danteg12.deviantart.com/art/Mina-Reot-198137842?q=gallery%3Adanteg12%2F28767505&qo=2 http://danteg12.deviantart.com/art/Jasper-and-Caine-Smith-198137164?q=gallery%3Adanteg12%2F28767505&qo=3 My Characters Eventually I'll put their comics up. But not now. My scanner hates me so yeah. :/
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: ChickanBone on February 20, 2011, 09:57:49 AM
It was a compliment :)
and I like your character layouts Mina looks cool and the flower looks great!
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 20, 2011, 10:14:20 AM
Thanks ^^ I had trouble with the petals, and I had higher expectations of it *shmacks flower*
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on February 21, 2011, 01:21:31 AM
you're work is pretty good! Love the poems!
If I could give a little feedback, you're facial structure could use some work; you seem to make the heads too thin and the faces too flat. The ear should be about where the jawline ends and the skull should actually extend far beyond that, and chins could use some work..
Aside from that you're pretty good with little details, and again, the writing is fantastic.
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 22, 2011, 09:09:38 AM
Thanks! ^^ I'll try and put up the comics tonight- if not then I tried.
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on February 23, 2011, 04:29:52 AM
:u no comics :c
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 23, 2011, 08:36:36 AM
Are you telling me not to post them or are you upset that I didn't? 0o
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on February 24, 2011, 12:26:39 AM
upset that you didnt :c
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 24, 2011, 12:45:58 AM
Oh. Sorry. ^^' I'm working on it- and I just hate how they look! You can't read them, so I'll probably have a little key or something. *le sigh*
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on February 24, 2011, 05:43:54 AM
le sigh sounds french
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on February 25, 2011, 02:49:59 PM
Currently writing a story set in France- kinda trying to get into the mind of my non insane person, ans it's hard. TAT Who knew being sane required so much effort?!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on February 25, 2011, 08:30:43 PM
It's definitely work :B
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Flashwerewolf on March 04, 2011, 12:45:29 AM
I thought this thread was gonna be about someones place of employment being morbid :/
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Adelaide on March 04, 2011, 06:19:14 AM
like morgue workers
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Emmery on March 04, 2011, 05:04:09 PM
XD No, I only put them in there
Title: Re: My work is a little morbid ^^'
Post by: Jewel the Catboy on July 27, 2014, 08:46:00 PM
been there with done that with ghosts, and fears and stuffs like that, i still see dead people every where but have absolutely no fears at all, as for the ghosts , i pretend i dont see or notice them, so they leave me alone now!!!!