The Don't Ask Don't Tell thing has been around for a long time, so anyone who could fall victim to it should just prepare for it and work around it if they really want to enlist. There isn't a solution, so nothing has changed in the ways things are done, which is to be expected.
I don't really know how sexuality is relevant in military service, its not a big deal. Perhaps as a training tactic, they aimed at removing sexual desires from the environment in order to keep soldiers focused, thus the separate boot camps for guys and girls and such. Now that gay people are more open, and its socially acceptable to be openly gay, there are people in boot camp that are receiving distractions, which the military tried to exclude.
The military is about conformity, not about individuality, and the tactics used to create soldiers and skilled people can seem ridiculous from an outsiders perspective, thus they have their own court systems.
I think the problem is non-military people putting their noses in the military's business because its a whole 'nother world over there.
I strongly doubt that the military just hates gay people. Sexuality is a social thing, the military isn't a social organization. So just leave it at the door.