Discussion Zone: => General Chat => Topic started by: Red on July 19, 2009, 08:32:43 PM
Title: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Red on July 19, 2009, 08:32:43 PM
Alright this topic is about jokes. So post a joke! This can be either text or a picture.
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Wesker on July 19, 2009, 09:11:49 PM
No offense to fw; I just needed a member to example.
Why did fw cross the road? Because his d*ck was stuck in a chicken!
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 19, 2009, 11:40:03 PM
[dontget]
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Wesker on July 19, 2009, 11:58:25 PM
It's a play on the "why did the chicken cross the road" joke. Ya see, the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. Flashwerewolf crossed the road because his wang was stuck in the chicken!
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: OMUTSU on July 20, 2009, 12:41:49 AM
all the jokes i know would be ruined if they are written down
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Red on July 20, 2009, 12:48:10 AM
Wahhhh!?
You guys just aren't trying!
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 20, 2009, 01:01:39 AM
nope.. they aren't... here is a joke I once read that reminded me of Flash =P
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: OMUTSU on July 20, 2009, 03:16:34 AM
a guy walks into a bar and says ouch
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Red on July 20, 2009, 04:09:26 AM
nope.. they aren't... here is a joke I once read that reminded me of Flash =P
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: kinjo on July 20, 2009, 08:22:48 AM
Purchasing a new birdAfter many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my ass!"
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 20, 2009, 09:05:54 AM
xD hahahahhaha... i get it... xD good one kinjo
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: kinjo on July 20, 2009, 09:33:03 AM
i found it on the internets [usuck] wish i could write jokes like that
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Wesker on July 20, 2009, 12:11:01 PM
That's boss, kinjo! This joke I heard from my dad some time ago so I may be missing a little detail or two.
A man walks into a hospital and comes to the front desk. He tells the woman "hey, I have a problem."
The desk woman replies "sir, you can't just come in here and make an instant appointment. you have to set one up a day in advance."
So the man makes an appointment and comes back the next day. He approaches the desk woman and says "I have an appointment with the doctor." The lady replies "What's the problem?" The man says "I have a problem with my peni$."
The woman says "Sir, you can't say that in this place out loud!" The man says "Sorry. What should I do?" The lady says "Just rephrase it when you say it outloud. Say it's your ear. Now what's the problem?" The man tells her "Yeah, I got a problem: I can't piss out of my ear."
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 20, 2009, 12:28:42 PM
Haha, that ones funny...
I have one from my mom, she told me once xD
Okay, so a man goes to buy condoms, when asked his size, the sales woman grabs him, and goes "Medium." embarrassed, he leaves the store as quickly as possible. Later, another man comes in, and she again, grabs him, and goes "Large." Feeling proud of himself, he leaves to go buy his condoms.
Later, a teenager comes in, and when asked his size he replied "I've never done this before... I'm not sure..." So, the sale woman grabs him and replies: "CLEAN UP ON AISLE 5!"
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: kinjo on July 21, 2009, 08:21:38 AM
[burst] your mom is wicked if she told you that
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: TwitchLord on July 21, 2009, 01:37:13 PM
so this guy losses his arm and the docter says i dont know if your willing but we have this brand new arm thats practically real and even works like one, if you want it you get it so the guys says heck yeah and takes it. a week later he goes back and tells the docter that all it does is sit there and he cant get it to work, the docter says oh there is a mic in the shoulder so u tell it what to do. the guy says oh sees a glass and says grab it, it does. so he leaves the docter and is trying it out all day. he gets home and to the restroom. while he is in the he gets an idea. and hes says to the arm fondle it. it does and he goes man that feels good and thn he says jerk it off
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 21, 2009, 06:45:34 PM
xDDDDD HAHA! Maybe teh doctor should have warned him about that specifics o.o
No offense to fw; I just needed a member to example.
Why did fw cross the road? Because his d*ck was stuck in a chicken!
HEY WHAT THE DILLY!?! [psyduck]
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 22, 2009, 04:42:01 AM
You apparently are into chickens...
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Xicor on July 22, 2009, 04:43:35 AM
Chickan... I miss you man.
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 22, 2009, 04:45:08 AM
Doesn't he like... live near you or something? And what does Chickan have to do with Flash stickin his wang in a chicken? and why did any of this even come up?
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Flashwerewolf on July 22, 2009, 06:34:27 AM
Remember that smiley "I want Krnflydude to come back"?
[krnflydude] !!!
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Xicor on July 22, 2009, 09:34:11 AM
Wow I wonder if some members are permanently banned... [rocket]
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 22, 2009, 10:50:27 AM
I imagine any one who made too big of a mess got banned... o.o These things happen, its just a site though, it isn't like Kinjo and Flash go hunt them down together and kill them.
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Red on July 25, 2009, 12:35:02 AM
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?...
It got shot. =_=
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: Adelaide on July 25, 2009, 12:38:39 AM
Was it shot?
Title: Re: Tell us a joke!
Post by: ShinamoriAoshi on July 25, 2009, 02:04:57 AM